Immature Kid

A couple years back, an old man said that I was mature beyond my age
But if you ask a random teen girl, she would call me an idiot with an exhausted face
Doesn’t matter if I tried to stay fit, run a mile everyday, and beat everyone in a sprint race
Now I look like a guy whose hair are about to turn grey
Well, that’s what they say.
So guess, I’m an immature kid
Who doesn’t have control over his impulse
Someone who’ll shoot himself in the foot and eventually self destruct
That’s wrong on so many levels
You don’t know me that well if you think I am going to put myself in trouble
Got enough intelligence to leave before a situation gets too bad
Like a family gets abandoned by a deadbeat dad

An immature kid who talks maturely
Not even difficult to find, it is a rarity
Calling a saint a sinner is blasphemy
If I act rude to someone, that’s on me
I’ll accept my mistake and issue an apology
In this land, everyone does shady deeds
Some give a helping hand to someone who’s in need
I’ll give my both hands to grab you up when you’re down
But if you turn against me, I’ll throw you in water and won’t let you out till you drown

So, still one would think I’m an immature kid
Despite me being twenty one and having many more years to live
Just think about the capacity I have at the moment
After ten years, I probably will be even more solemn
And what if I find solace in being soul less?
Least, it makes me more self aware
Drives me through each day without giving a care
Helps in covering my emotions with thick layers
That’s why I don’t feel the need to have everyday prayers
Have had some rough moments, had my fair share
So if you still think it’s a lack of maturity
Then I can’t keep giving you security
I’ll let you dig deeper in your own insecurity

In a bubble

I live in my own bubble
Avoid all troubles
I just want to lay back, have no struggles
No rush, no hustle
In my own world, I make the rules
Grow a fruit and eat it too
Don’t want any orders
Maybe I have antisocial disorder

Have this hatred for authority
They take advantage of seniority
I thought I would change once I turned twenty
It keeps getting stronger, to hate them is my duty
I try to think differently
But it’s the way I am, it’s just me
Next morning I will wake up and decide to change
It’s plain old routine, it’s the fault of my brain

It’s a pattern I am stuck into
Thoughts just strike me out of the blue
I am unable to express them coherently
It’s a testimony of my limited ability
Realizing it is a sign of maturity
I tell myself this, to make myself feel happy

I live in my own bubble
Not asking for any trouble
My fate is a jigsaw puzzle
That I cannot seem to solve
I try to find myself but keep getting lost
Writing worthless lines to keep me entertained
‘Cause I know with it, there’s nothing to gain

More than she needs me

Maybe I need her more than she needs me

Is it a coincidence or all this is meant to be?

I always wonder shall we talk ever again?

I expect her to come and heal my pain.

 

Late night talks we will cherish one day

If only I keep her in my life and not push her away

I crave her attention yet I don’t want her to stay

I put the words in her mouth that she doesn’t say.

 

I make mistakes and so does she

Feels as if she is cruel yet so lovely

I leave it on the destiny

It will happen if it’s meant to be.

 

I ponder over my life every day and night

I have goals that are always in my mind

She is the last thing I worry about

I won’t allow her to come, if she does I won’t let her out.

 

I regret I message her every day after I wake up

I promise to not do it again as I pour tea in my cup.

As the evening rolls in I can’t help myself

When emotions take over how does one help oneself?

 

Guess I’ll make this mistake again

Just rub more salt on my wounds to feel the pain.

Maybe I need her more than I imagined

Maybe she isn’t only a friend, she has become my passion.

 

I am obsessed with her

She is like a drug that makes reality looks blur.

Ecstasy takes over and I lose control

This night I can’t stop, I don’t want to be alone.

My queen

I keep on waiting for you to arrive

Your smile makes me feel alive.

Your eyes hide so many secrets

I want to know what’s hidden in there.

 

I never felt this way before

Until I saw you and met a beautiful soul

You’re a diamond among dull stones

I admire you so much,

You might never get to know.

 

Keep moving forward, the world is yours

I’ll stay here and remain indoors

All my troubles, I won’t allow to be seen

I will live like a slave but will make you my queen.

Look

I look for a friend in a stranger’s face
Search for the spark that has vanished away
Wait for someone to send me wishes
Close the gap and build some bridges

Love me or hate me, show some emotion
Even if it makes me feel vulnerable
Your presence should make me feel comfortable
Rather than make me feel miserable.

I wish to get back the trust I had in you
Urge to text you “I want to see you soon”
When I used to think the day I met you was a boon
But all I can do is sit in silence and watch the moon

Anger is filled inside me
Neither want to hear you nor want to see
I am not what I am I wanted to be
That’s why I laugh at my own stupidity.

19 and still counting

Still the young remains alive in me
Wondering what’s next, lying under a tree.
Feels refreshing to taste the sweet afternoon tea,
Then dreaming about the Caribbean sea.

Still watch the stars at night,
As I forget about my fear of height.
All the rushing sounds around me,
Yet I remain calm and quiet.

Still 19 and have a lot to see,
Haven’t grown up completely.
Yesterday I was just a kid,
I remember all the wrong things I did.

Still there are endless possibilities,
If only we believe in our own abilities.
The melancholic melodies are so soothing,
As it reminds us of the things we have lost and losing.

You and I

You are running at the speed of light
I am trudging like a tortoise.
You’ll reach greater heights,
I will enjoy my slow ride.

You are aiming to achieve more,
I am deceiving myself with everyday chores.
You look forward to new challenges,
While I prepare myself to wait for more damages.

You want to take huge strides,
I want to stay at the backside.
You want to be at the driver’s seat,
While I just look outside my window seat.

You’re not afraid of anything,
I try to hide away from everything.
You’re the one I wish to be,
I wonder if I’ll think the same when I turn twenty three.

Rainy days

I still remember those rainy days,

When nights were better than those regular days.

Being alone never made me feel lonely.

I did have a friend and that was me; one and only.

 

Dusk seemed brighter and more peaceful than dawn.

I am still  here but those  moments have long gone.

All the right things now seem wrong.

Late at night, I  am  wandering in this empty lawn.

 

Walking underneath this starry night.

I wait for an unexpected miracle to strike.

Reality is not a fairy tale,

I keep walking as I wish to confront my fate.

 

Hope keeps us strong and alive.

Till the day comes when we face our  demise.

A sad reality looms over us and wait for arrival,

As we fight and struggle everyday for our survival.

On an empty road

On an empty road at midnight
A boy walked alone wishing someone would say “Hi!”
Hug him and tell him not to cry
“I am here to be your friend, no worries and no good bye.”

Stay honest and loyal to him
He’ll be there for you when no one else will.
Deep down he knew he had a pure heart
Still people didn’t want to be with him and they torn him apart.

Suffering had become a norm to him
The pain was intense like he had recently hit the gym.
His future looked so dark and grim
He knew he had to hold on, keep going on and swim.

Then came a young beautiful lady, charming like a princess
He thought he had found his love, now he was fearless.
The only problem was that he had to let go of his shyness.
It was his trait so all his efforts went in vain.

The young lady did not return his love
He was left heart broken but knew he didn’t need her
Moving on was the only option left for him
But the pain was so intense
He found himself lingering on an empty road once again.

Love(poem)

I wake up in the morning
Just to see your face.
I love it when I catch you
Blushing as you gaze.
Your beauty brings me to life
I am enchanted and amazed.
Your presence is peaceful
And whenever I see you
I fall in love, all over again.