Edge of the Bridge

I move along with time in despair
Wish I can be content, that’s my only prayer
An update is needed in my software
You tell me not to act like a robot,
But what if it’s just my only goal?
I don’t need counseling or someone who wants to console
‘Cause I stopped caring years ago
I don’t care, I have sold my soul
Or maybe someone came and stole
The heart that I once had made of gold,
It’s not in my possession
Life happened and it taught me a lesson

Never let your emotions come out
To the world ’cause it doesn’t care
You got to face the obstacles
Life isn’t fair
I look like a human from the outside just like you
But you don’t really know me, you haven’t walked in my shoes
I was the only one who pulled myself through
Now I look back at my life and try to review
There were so many opportunities that I blew
Not that I did not knew
But I was naive enough not to know their value

So now I stand at the edge of the bridge
Pondering the thought of jumping and be finished
Or maybe give it a chance and give my life a meaning
Find the joy in something and start living
The idea is a scary phenomenon
It’s a long journey though, soon I’ll be twenty one
I try to put a smile on your face
But I fail to write sentences that are articulate

I use a language that is straight
No beating around the bush, that’s insane
Get to the point and say what you want to say
A night is a night and a day is a day
No matter how I say it, it’ll remain the same
I just want to convey
I only know how to express only in this particular way
Plenty of events wait ahead
It’ll be no fun without a friend
Till then I’ll be killing my time
Find different ways to express myself and make them rhyme

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Vibhor Sharma vs Viby atray!

Sometimes I feel like I have an alter ego. Just like I see Eminem having “Slim Shady” as his alter ego, I also feel like that “Vibhor Sharma” and “Viby Atray” are quite the different personality altogether. I started using the name “Viby Atray” only when I began blogging and due to the fact that “Viby” was a nickname given to me by a close friend and “Atray” is my real surname which sounds cool to me, I started using this name at different platforms. It was like I gave a birth to a totally new person because Vibhor Sharma is someone who cannot write peoms/articles/compose music (EDM)/Draw sketches etc. He is someone who lacks self esteem, is not talkative, cannot handle a lot of stress, gets nervous, sometimes a bit clumsy and he just isn’t open to a lot of experiences. On the other hand, “Viby Atray” is more of a “cool” guy. Atray can write poems, draw sketches, write articles, interested in human psychology, doesn’t get stressed out, have high self esteem, interested in learning EDM/DAW, wants to speak his mind and he is also open to new experiences. One night I was talking to a friend and I told her that my real surname is “Atray” and not “Sharma”. She got really confused and asked me who was I.

VB

She couldn’t understand what I was trying to say and right then it hit me and I realized that I needed to ask one question to myself. Who am I? (See also: https://vibyspeakshismind.wordpress.com/2015/08/31/who-am-i/ )

Basically, I just had to tell her what name I use on official documents and what my real name is but I started thinking about it a bit too deeply. I was wondering who I actually was? I am a totally different person sometimes and right there I just got the answer. I realized I was “Vibhor Sharma” who wanted to become like “Viby Atray”. I was so fond of Atray because of his charming persona and his ability to read, write and comprehend. I wanted to be that guy in real life as well. I still struggle to become “Viby Atray” and I am still not up to his standards. So, from this day onward, my aim would be to make a fusion of these two people, i.e, “Vibhor Sharma” and “Viby Atray” because I am sure this combination has the power to change the life of “Vibhor Sharma” who needs a role model and a kick start to find the motivation. I believe “Viby Atray” is that person who can change the fortune of “Vibhor Sharma” in the coming years.