Gun In The Drawer

I open my drawer, take out a gun
Think about shooting myself in the head, wouldn’t it be fun?
They say it’s an act of cowardice
But it’s a choice about how one dies
It’s an option, not for everyone I believe
Some people have no other option, they just want to leave
In my own home, I act like I am a thief
For some reason, I feel someone’s watching me
Guilty for pondering the thought of coming to an end
But what can I do? I am reaching a dead-end
I search for someone who can be a true friend
Who would actually care and not just pretend

With a grin on my face, I go to bed
“Let’s put this off til tomorrow”, I said
I’ll wake up in the morning, start a new day
I’ll get to open my eyes and see the sun rays
Sunshine will blossom and send a positive vibe
Only to let the night kick in later, finishing all the hype
It will get dark, I’ll see myself in a different light
With this thought I see myself in another world yet again
I am dreaming and this world feels like a better place

Eyes open, day is new, same old reality
After finishing work I am back in a room that is empty
I sit on a chair, put on some music
Listening to it everyday makes it no longer therapeutic
I don’t want to listen to it, rather have it muted
I get up, a tortured soul crying for help, I hate myself

Open the drawer, take out a gun
I no longer have the will to see the sun
Moon looks mesmerizing with its glimmering glow
The world is a quiet place, everything seems to be moving so slow
I put the gun on my forehead this time
This is probably going to be my last night

Rush flows through my veins
Eyes are watery, tears roll down like a rain
As I am about to pull the trigger
I stop to think and look at my fingers
They are trembling with fear
Just one move, and the end will be near
I think deeply and the thought lingers
I do realize I was failing to see the bigger picture

So I put the gun back where it belongs
What I was about to do was wrong
I am defeated, I beg for some mercy
My head spins and my vision goes blurry
I wake up to the birds singing outside
Kids playing in the park, riding on a slide
If I ever want a company, the true friend will stay with me
It will be there through thick and thin
Only the gun in my drawer can grant me my wish

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Amazing Afterlife

Don’t feel sorry for me, I want no pity
It’s the rage inside me that is building
Worry about that, I am colder than ice
Hotter than fire when I want to be
I would punch a punching bag to release
All the anger that is controlling me

Direct my energy into productive activity
To not go insane, to keep my sanity
There’s no joke, no negativity
I speak from experience, it’s my reality

All the pressure that is a weight on my shoulders
I am growing colder, as I grow older
My heart is a rock and not an organ
People used to call me noble, now they call me arrogant

But it’s just the way I have lived
I used to be a sincere man you would’ve ever met
Sometimes things don’t turn out the way we want them to
Some ideas just strike us out of the blue
Life has a way to make things happen when you have no clue

Not telling my story doesn’t mean I don’t have one
Just because I am bitter doesn’t mean I don’t want to have fun
It’s the way my mind is designed
Even in the hard times, I put a smile
Obstacles in life could be a blessing in disguise
I become the villain in your eyes
Days pass by after each night
I sit, think and wish for an amazing afterlife

Edge of the Bridge

I move along with time in despair
Wish I can be content, that’s my only prayer
An update is needed in my software
You tell me not to act like a robot,
But what if it’s just my only goal?
I don’t need counseling or someone who wants to console
‘Cause I stopped caring years ago
I don’t care, I have sold my soul
Or maybe someone came and stole
The heart that I once had made of gold,
It’s not in my possession
Life happened and it taught me a lesson

Never let your emotions come out
To the world ’cause it doesn’t care
You got to face the obstacles
Life isn’t fair
I look like a human from the outside just like you
But you don’t really know me, you haven’t walked in my shoes
I was the only one who pulled myself through
Now I look back at my life and try to review
There were so many opportunities that I blew
Not that I did not knew
But I was naive enough not to know their value

So now I stand at the edge of the bridge
Pondering the thought of jumping and be finished
Or maybe give it a chance and give my life a meaning
Find the joy in something and start living
The idea is a scary phenomenon
It’s a long journey though, soon I’ll be twenty one
I try to put a smile on your face
But I fail to write sentences that are articulate

I use a language that is straight
No beating around the bush, that’s insane
Get to the point and say what you want to say
A night is a night and a day is a day
No matter how I say it, it’ll remain the same
I just want to convey
I only know how to express only in this particular way
Plenty of events wait ahead
It’ll be no fun without a friend
Till then I’ll be killing my time
Find different ways to express myself and make them rhyme

Get off your high horse

I am multi talented but people do not believe me
I once tried three different arts and posted it on social media
Some said “You should go in a creative field, leave academia.”
How easy is it was for me to be labeled multi talented, see?

Few years ago, I was told I couldn’t do anything
Suddenly you post on social media and you’re the coolest thing
Come outside and meet me
You’ll realize there is nothing I do differently

I did not see myself as someone who could do many things
But few said otherwise and then it hit me
It’s not about only me, there are multiple people who can do multiple things

Get off your high horse and see the reality
You’re not the only one who is talented
Some can draw, some can do music and some can write
And then you have millions of people who can do all of them combined

Stop being a snowflake
You’re like everyone else, mate
It doesn’t make you special
Just having the raw ability won’t make you a legend

Got to go through pain and agony
Along the way, don’t expect any sympathy
This is your life and in your own hands
If you mess it up, neither will anyone care nor will they understand

You keep telling yourself that you’re the best
Have a special mind that no one ever had
There have been people who were better than you
You want it to be false, but it is true

Everybody wants to be famous and be artistic
It’s not always fun to be the target of critics
When they try to pull you down
They want to be the ones who want to boss you around

Everyone is a slave to something
There’s no escaping it
You want to think you are free
But you’re just one of the many fish in the sea

It’s easy to manipulate people and show what side you want to show
They’ll only notice what you want them to know
You are not better than everyone else
Life is complicated and the circumstances are too complex
Sit back, and enjoy the ride
There’s no place to run, no place to hide

In a bubble

I live in my own bubble
Avoid all troubles
I just want to lay back, have no struggles
No rush, no hustle
In my own world, I make the rules
Grow a fruit and eat it too
Don’t want any orders
Maybe I have antisocial disorder

Have this hatred for authority
They take advantage of seniority
I thought I would change once I turned twenty
It keeps getting stronger, to hate them is my duty
I try to think differently
But it’s the way I am, it’s just me
Next morning I will wake up and decide to change
It’s plain old routine, it’s the fault of my brain

It’s a pattern I am stuck into
Thoughts just strike me out of the blue
I am unable to express them coherently
It’s a testimony of my limited ability
Realizing it is a sign of maturity
I tell myself this, to make myself feel happy

I live in my own bubble
Not asking for any trouble
My fate is a jigsaw puzzle
That I cannot seem to solve
I try to find myself but keep getting lost
Writing worthless lines to keep me entertained
‘Cause I know with it, there’s nothing to gain

7 Months and no word…

So here I am once again. I have to make it clear from the beginning that I have no clear topic or a subject on which I am going to write anything in this post. I have logged back in my account after 7 months and I have no idea how time flew by. Hence, I decided to write something, anything today. Everything I say will be candid, unedited and purely from my heart and emotions.

It has been 7 months and no word at all from me. In the last few months I simply lost track and in a way, I would say I have lost a lot of hobbies and the things that I used to find fun no longer seems to excite me. Writing is clearly one of them. It would be safe to say that I have had nothing informative to share. That explains why I have been “invisible”.

However, I got to say this activity seems enjoyable. It is a change for sure. I can write whatever the hell I want because I am writing for the sake of writing. Technically, I am typing. But there should be something to speak about. We’re just going round and round in circles here and there is no conclusion to it.

It’s 6:22 am at the moment and I haven’t slept all night. Wow. I know I shouldn’t do this but I am young and I want to experiment. Surely I wouldn’t be able to do these kind of things when I grow even older. I would probably crave sleep like I want to hibernate.

So it’s early morning and I was wondering if I should use this opportunity to go out and walk in the park. I could do some jogging and help my belly that is getting obese. Maybe I could go out and get something to eat as well.

I didn’t think I would write such boring things after showing up 7 months later but don’t blame me, mate. I am a common man with a poor lifestyle. We’ve all been there and we’ve all done that. Most of our day consists of boring and mundane schedule. I just hope I will get back in that “zone” of writing and updating my blog from here on once again.

It’s good bye and.. Good morning for now.

Figment of imagination

Create a tree or a bee or a sea

Make a rainbow or anything else you want to see

Lovely things or dangerous beings

All up to you, you are free.

 

Do they exist or do they don’t?

Is it real or a figment of imagination?

You can make anything you want to make

That’s the beauty of our puzzling brain

 

As long as you remain curious

Nothing is going to bore you ever

You can have turns and twists

You can take so many risks

 

You can be kind or clever

You can sleep or dance forever

These can be good or bad

These can give you peace or drive you mad.

 

It’s the figment of imagination that makes it real

If it doesn’t exist in physical world, doesn’t mean it is unreal

Art is amazing and art is persuasive

Think things up and be creative

Whenever I look at you..

Whenever I look at you,

I feel like my guts are doing a somersault.

Whenever I look at you,

I feel like my heart starts to sing a super hit song.

Whenever I look at you,

I feel like I can see you through this dense fog.

Whenever I look at you,

I feel all my troubles are fading away.

Whenever I look at you,

My bad day turns into a good day.

Whenever I look at you,

All my dreams come true.

Whenever I look at you,

I become rigid like a statue.

Your love is divine and pure,

You’ve a heart of gold, I am sure.

The more I look at you,

The more I feel I should be closer to you.

10 New Tongue twisters compilation

1-Derek did a deed deliberately indeed to deliver the decorated door to Danny before dawn.

2-Brandon being a bad boy brought a bat to Boston to break the bones of bad boys to belittle the biased blatant bad boys.

3-Aaron argued and asked Ashton to assure Amy arrest Amber as Ashton argued and asked Aaron to be anonymous.

4-He held her hands and had a hat on his head while heading her to a hamlet and hand her a handbag.

5-Ron ran in the rain to drain his insane pain to run back to his cave in midst of rain to read readily the reality of rain.

6- Shrink the sink to fit two sinks, shuffle two shabby sinks to the side of a shabby sink to avoid a sin.

7- See the sun, sing a song to son, show son sun the sunshine of shimmering sun.

8-How to clean a car carrying a cunning caretaker coming from a city to take care of another caretaker carrying a carefree cat?

9- Six clicks within a blink, lick a chick, pick a stick, kick the chick, lick a chick, throw a brick, within a blink.

10-Sam sings a sonnet solemnly as a sacred secret surrounding a shadow of several sins setting Sam to sleep and surrender.