Amazing Afterlife

Don’t feel sorry for me, I want no pity
It’s the rage inside me that is building
Worry about that, I am colder than ice
Hotter than fire when I want to be
I would punch a punching bag to release
All the anger that is controlling me

Direct my energy into productive activity
To not go insane, to keep my sanity
There’s no joke, no negativity
I speak from experience, it’s my reality

All the pressure that is a weight on my shoulders
I am growing colder, as I grow older
My heart is a rock and not an organ
People used to call me noble, now they call me arrogant

But it’s just the way I have lived
I used to be a sincere man you would’ve ever met
Sometimes things don’t turn out the way we want them to
Some ideas just strike us out of the blue
Life has a way to make things happen when you have no clue

Not telling my story doesn’t mean I don’t have one
Just because I am bitter doesn’t mean I don’t want to have fun
It’s the way my mind is designed
Even in the hard times, I put a smile
Obstacles in life could be a blessing in disguise
I become the villain in your eyes
Days pass by after each night
I sit, think and wish for an amazing afterlife

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Terrible face


I made a mistake, I accept 

But all this time it seemed like a foreign concept

Never realised I had a terrible face

I don’t believe a single word that anyone says

Loathe myself, just killing time and spending days

I need to make a change but I will never be the same

I should held up my head high but I am so ashamed

I want to be alone but I also want fame

Some days I get so distracted that I even forget my own name

All I know is I’ll never be the same 

‘Cause I have a terrible face
I look so terrible 

Scared to look in the mirror

The dark circles, the acnes, dry skin

Oh my God! I have started to get a double chin

Maybe I committed a mistake or even worse a sin

That’s why I look horrible even with a grin

It’s a lost battle, man! I can’t win

I am just glad I at least don’t have a twin

Because I look like trash, I am dustbin

There are demons inside of me that lies within
They look at my terrible face and laugh

I could ramble on and on and write lengthy paragraphs

I look so terrible, man! I won’t even look at my own photograph

People make fun of me and never miss a chance 

Girls look away when I ask them to dance

Look so terrible that they won’t even take a glance

That’s why I am so scared to make any advance

I’ll never get an opportunity to experience romance

Man, I do have a terrible face

I wish it was drawn with a pencil so I could use an eraser to erase

So I wouldn’t write this in the first place.

Grand scheme

“I don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.”

This realization will be termed depressing or nihilistic or cynical. However, this is the reality. As they say, life is neither fair nor unfair. It’s indifferent. Universe is indifferent. It’ll continue to move forward with or without you. Time doesn’t wait or stop for anyone.

Here I am reflecting on my short life I have lived so far. So much has already happened. Things have gone bad more than good yet here I am thinking about my future, writing this up and pondering over the reason of my existence.

I remain quiet. I talk less and listen more. The reason is not many people want to listen. Everyone wants to speak. So, I observe and try to listen more to understand the other person.

The grand scheme and the big picture, that’s what I   think about now. I go out every day and see thousands of people. There are literally billions of people in this world. I can’t help but think “I don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.”

I am just one person. Out of all the billion people, I am one, with my own dreams, desires and goals. This realization is so liberating but at the same time leaves me with void. It’s the void of meaninglessness.