Bittersweet melancholy

Bittersweet melancholy comforts me

Like a blanket has been pulled over me

I lie down on bed in the hope of sleep
I toss and turn, breath in and out while I count to three.

I reminisce the past memories
Whether good or bad they may be
I visit back in time to make peace
And remember when I used to read under a tree.

Nostalgia is my old friend
A reminder of the long forgotten trends
When reading fiction was all I needed.

My imagination kept me alive
Gave me the hope to one day do a skydive
Thinking about it brought so much thrill
I still remember it and still get the chills.

As I wish what could have been turned out differently
I realise I have to just let it be
Wishful thinking and reality are not alike
My heart is broken and yet I say I’m fine.

Bittersweet melancholy takes over
Like a thirsty man needing water
It’s a part of me from which I can’t snap out
So I just stay silent and suppress my shout.

I’d change myself if I wanted to
But sometimes I wonder if that’s what I want to do
I keep moving and go with the flow
In the hopes one day I’ll shine and brightly glow.

Bittersweet melancholy comforts me
It is a known and familiar feel
I’ll give joy another shot in next life
Either I’ll have to recover or reborn.

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So many questions

So many questions no answers

The weight of the troubles doesn’t transfer

Whenever I try make it right I make blunders
The ache in my heart strike me like a thunder

Waking up, I feel exhausted
I face these demons, they are traumatic
So scary that I am repeatedly haunted
There’s nothing like feeling unwanted

It’s my destiny that I hate
Can’t complain, they say it’s my fate
My head spins when I walk on the road
Legs tremble so I crawl on the floor

Shoulders are heavy now
I try to get up but I only go down
I see the sun and hope to see sunshine
I am in hell yet I say I am just fine

So many questions but no answers
I want to see a bouquet but I see dead flowers
I want to break free and scream out on top of a tower

This is not a game
Success doesn’t mean fame
My identity is my name
Why should I be afraid to be me? Why should there be any shame?

So many questions but no answers
I’ll ask them hundred times but to no avail
I’d want to succeed and not fail
Even if it means walking on hot flames

So many questions but no answers
Joy has vanished there’s only anger
I am an amateur but I want to be a master
That’s why I take shortcuts and like to cut to the chase faster

Now I know this is not the right way 
I’ll have to work night and day
There are questions and there will be answers
If only I rebuild after suffering this disaster

Need to be patient to remain sane
Take it as a boon and not a bane
It’s my story and I am the main character
Can’t back down, I’ve to fight like a wrestler.

I hide in my shell 
Because outside has become hell
People around me do wish me well
Life becomes harder when you have no friend.

Won’t fall for that ever again

You said it twice that you care
That it’s a strong bond that we share

False promises full of false hope

I’m sliding down on this slope.
There’s a fog in my brain

There is an endless pain

It won’t fade until I do 

Some wishes never come true.
It’s not real, it never was

The promises that felt real were all false

Life goes on and we have to move ahead

Love has the power to conquer the dread. 
I won’t fall for that ever again

Even if it means losing instead of gain

I’d rather embrace the solitude 

And change my current attitude.

First time(poem)

Oh I felt so good when I said Hi to you for the first time
You replied and I felt butterflies
As you shook my hand, on my face you could see a broad smile.
You were the light in my life, you became the sunshine.

Next night we walked on the sidewalk
Holding hands you talked in whispers
When we were sitting in front of the river
I put my coat around you as you shivered in this winter.

Then I dropped you at home
I told you I’ll miss you
It was like I met you for the first time, it felt new.
I waved good-bye and you hugged me out of the blue.

Affectionate Eyes

Your eyes glow like a shining star
They’re so beautiful, they heal my scars.
All the tragic moments of life
Turns out to be so nice.

I feel full of hope when you look at me
Wish I am the only person you’d want to see
That’s an unrealistic fantasy.

Your eyes are so affectionate
I love looking into them, I just can’t wait.
Wish I’d be lucky and we share our fate
But I know it’s only a wish, I am not the person you’ll want to date.

I’ll look in your eyes
Wish I could take away all your cries
I don’t want you to feel lonely
In case you need me, I am here for you only.

I live in a world where nothing makes sense
Where I am by myself with imaginary friends.
You’ll go backwards if you come with me
It’s a place where you get addicted and you can’t leave.

So, I vow to look in your eyes forever
I admire them so much, they make me feel better.
I am in love with those pitch black eyes and hair
Your eyes are amazing, I can’t help but stare.

My time will come

I think about writing but my mind stops me
The kid who once had vivid imagination is now a wannabe
The troubles and tragedies of life have shattered me completely
I still put on a smile and act carefree,

In my mind I know how deeply I am affected
I could’ve battled alone or so I believed
I am breaking down though and my aspirations keeps vanishing
My time will come, that’s what everyone tells me.

Got to express myself clearly
But the words can’t be found and my thoughts are blurry
I run in the evening to distract myself
To channel the aggression that is building inside me

How long will I ignore my demons, I don’t know.
But I promise you, I won’t let them show.
I feel as if I wish that cannot happen in reality, no?
During a hot summer day I want to see snow.

You tell me to calm down and relax
No matter how much I try, I keep holding my breath.
It’s something that is out of my control
All I can do is have patience and reach my goals.

We’re different(poem)

You look at my face and look in my eyes
You think you say truth but those are lies
I know what is there in your mind
You’re cruel, you’re not kind.

I trust you, I always do
If you’re the color red, I am the color blue.
If you are the road then I am the sky.
If you’re the laugh then I am the cries.

We’re different and don’t lie to me
Unlock the door and use the key
Don’t play games, I don’t know the rules
My story is finished, I know I am a fool.

Rain

I smell rain and I smell freedom
Animals love rain so do people
Nostalgia kicks in as I inhale
I remember good old days when I exhale

Magical weather and lovely season
I want to celebrate life for this reason
Rain gives me positive vibes
The smell of it keeps me alive

Daily Dilemma

Try to see things from their eyes and you will realize that they suffer and there are no lies

They act as if everything’s fine when they cry all night

Put a smile on their face and live their life.

 

Why no one is there when you need someone?

What’s up with their story that they don’t care?

Well, you can only control what you do

Remaining things are not up to you.

 

That girl said we’d be together

Whether it is warm or cold weather

Just when you feel as if they’re your soul mate

They prove otherwise and you ponder over your fate.

 

Is it the world we live in then?

Where you have to buy your every friend

This is the place where no one cares

Where everyone is greedy and nothing is shared.

 

Your friends will tell you they’re with you forever

Next second they vanish and see you never

Blame game starts and you fight with them

Chaos happens and cause mayhem

 

You go home and try to sleep

Your head hurts as the demons in your head are too deep

Fear settles as your heart races

Your hands are trembling and your body is shaking.

 

We just try to pass each day

In this mundane life where no one wants to play

Life has itself become a big game

I have only one life and I have to change.

 

So next day I try once more

Only to find myself in the same spot I was before

I may go insane and lose control

If that happens promise me you’ll let me go.

Figment of imagination

Create a tree or a bee or a sea

Make a rainbow or anything else you want to see

Lovely things or dangerous beings

All up to you, you are free.

 

Do they exist or do they don’t?

Is it real or a figment of imagination?

You can make anything you want to make

That’s the beauty of our puzzling brain

 

As long as you remain curious

Nothing is going to bore you ever

You can have turns and twists

You can take so many risks

 

You can be kind or clever

You can sleep or dance forever

These can be good or bad

These can give you peace or drive you mad.

 

It’s the figment of imagination that makes it real

If it doesn’t exist in physical world, doesn’t mean it is unreal

Art is amazing and art is persuasive

Think things up and be creative