Broken promises..

Sometimes we fought.
Sometimes we cried.
But it was me, most of the time,
Who had to suffer on all those dreadful nights.

We made promises.
We’d never deal with irreparable damages.
We’d stand by each other in difficult times.
Now I see, all those were such laughable lies.

You were tired of my vociferous rants.
I thought you’d stay with me,but you can’t.
All your problems were mine when we met.
Every moment I spent with you are now full of regret.

I didn’t want to say all these things to you.
But, I need to speak up now before I bid adieu.
These words are coming out of the blue.
I am leaving you now to move ahead, to find someone new.

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3 DAYS LEFT!

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On a wonderful evening of Thursday, I was gazing outside the window, admiring the beauty of the sunset which had been gradually taking away another day and leaving my unstoppable-thinking mind with new set of memories. I was trying to relax, but a hint of unsettled feeling was driving me nuts. I felt something was missing. A sense that something was incomplete, unfulfilled and a shadow of emptiness made the room appear darker. I spent my morning having fun with friends and later, wrote a poem, watched my favorite show and did some virtual interaction. By the time of evening, I was feeling a strange sensation which was rather irrational and pointless. That’s what I thought anyway.

However, this strange feeling refused to leave. Nobody likes an uninvited guest to suddenly arrive at your doorstep but sometimes, you have to welcome them even if it makes you resentful towards them. The worst thing that could happen after that is your guest not giving a slight hint of leaving but being a well-mannered educated person, you try your best to serve them as long as they’re at your house. Dejection is something which is an unsolicited guest residing in your body without your allowance. Only difference is that, you do not care about the etiquette and try your best to throw it out of your system but you’re not strong enough to do it all by yourself. A friend is needed during those times when you’re too weak to handle something all by yourself.

Perhaps, this was the reason I was feeling emptiness during that marvelous sunset which seemed to have great magical powers. It looked as if it had the healing power of turning an emotionally wounded person into a happy, energetic and full of life, happy-go-lucky persona. I was sitting all alone beside that window on an armchair gazing outside. Was it loneliness that made me feel so unsettled? Or was it the fact that I was not fulfilling my desired goals? I had to do a hard introspection before I could come up with an answer. I had to look deep within to truly know what was missing.

For the time being, I thought that maybe all I needed was to make a plan, organize my schedule and take a small step to achieve my goals. I always thought after high school, life would suddenly change. I’d become an extrovert, an overall positive person, develop good study habits and everything would be perfect but I was, apparently, very wrong. Life hasn’t changed much, in fact, I sometimes feel even more irresponsible than before. I realized I had to make a change, take control over actions or otherwise accept the life as it will come to me. Each day was passing by with a one-way ticket. I became aware that these days which are saying goodbye after every 24 hours are not going to stay here even if I begged them to stay. It was necessary to stop waiting and start acting.

I had Friday, Saturday and Sunday off from college so I knew I could do a lot of things during those 3 days. 3 days are a long time but they might not be that long. Well, all depends on how you perceive it. I decided I’d view these 3 days as a long, long time. I muttered to myself, “You only have 3 days remaining to live. Do whatever you want. Do not think about your past; do not think about your future. There is only present and you’ve got 3 days to live. So, better stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop dwelling onto insignificant things and start doing what you’ve always desired for. Work in small steps and give yourself a chance to make your dream come true.”

These words I told myself will probably have a great impact on me even in the future. I will have to remember over the years that I do not have an eternity to live. So, to avoid this empty, unsettled feeling, I know, as a matter of fact, that I need to start working in small steps to achieve the desired results. One step at a time can do wonders.

Make the most of these upcoming 3 days!

Shapeless!

Red rose growing in my garden, it looks so beautiful.
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, saying is something special.
Listening to a symphony, an experience which is magical.
All the traumas I faced, leaves me with a shapeless heart like an amorphous white lead powder.

Give another meaning to life, a thought on which I ponder.
Regularly following the same routine is difficult to handle.
Something new is always out there, just need to look over.
Stop looking at the sky all the time, look down, a bit more lower.

So many people I see, it’s harder than you imagine.
Try to live in the shoes of an introvert.
Maybe my mind is going to detonate.
Only few people are out there, with whom I celebrate.

While the danger was impending, I preferred avoiding.
I started to daydream, treacherous tasks were coming.
I wanted to run to that shimmering shoreline.
A tunnel to my energy and an end to my boredom.

Talent Redefined!

  • Note: An audio version of this blog post is available on SoundCloud.Check out my instrumentals there too.
  • Talent Redefined.

“Talent is something you can find in the littlest skill and daily tasks that you’ve been able to learn and perform during your stay on the planet Earth.”

The above quote can be interpreted as the talent is something which can be defined as in every task that you do. For me, talent is not something which can be declared as ‘big’ or ‘small’. We cannot determine what should be considered as a talent and what should not be considered as one. Talent lies everywhere in the actions that you execute on a daily basis. For exempli gratia, there is a time when you are a new-born baby not knowing how to talk or convey your messages to your family. Gradually, as you grow up each day, your parents put up the effort to teach you how to make vowel sounds and slowly as you keep babbling and mumbling the vowels you also start picking up the consonants and starts to speak out the words fluently and conveniently. This is the stage which can be defined as a ‘talent’. You didn’t know about the language when you were born. It is something which you learned by the help of the people surrounding you. They taught you and that is the only reason why you are able to speak words fluently and remember them for a long term. It can be called as a talent because it helps an individual to evolve. This is a fundamental aspect for self-growth and a person’s evolution. It is only when you learn how to speak, be it any language; you can define your identity to the world. That is why I referred it as a “talent” as it opens up a new gateway to establish yourself in the world and sets you up to leave a mark in the history of mankind.  Apparently, speaking is something which most people can do but speaking effectively is something which not everyone can do unless they practice enough to be able to do so.  So, learning to talk is a talent. Whenever anyone says or thinks that you don’t have a talent, remind them that you’re able to talk and it is a talent.

Like in the above example, we saw that talking is a talent. I’d say similar to that, everything you do each day like walking, sleeping, singing, dancing, writing, driving a car, bicycling, discovering your soul, emotions, finding your inner self, closely giving a thought about yourself etc. is a talent.  Look, talent is not what you can do what others can’t do because all these things are interconnected and there is no one who can do a task all by himself. Sometimes, people assume that singers, musicians, dancers, writers etc. do not require anyone as they have a talent and they can achieve anything all by themselves but it is not true at all. Even they need people to help them out and they all work as a team. This is why I said it’s all interdependent because you need a Sound Engineer to help a singer/musician to make a song effective and pleasant to hear (team work). You need Editors and a publisher to publish the work of a writer/poet (team work). They alone are not capable enough to do all the tasks by themselves. It’s all a team work in the end. The work of the publisher, editor, sound engineer, architect, property-dealer requires talent. Driving a car is not all that easy as well. You have to get the license after your training and this is actually something which everyone can’t do. Lots of people fail to learn driving all their life.

As a matter of fact, I’ve seen plenty of people, especially teenagers, saying that they don’t have a ‘talent’. The question arises here is what is a talent? How do you define talent? For all those who believe that they don’t have a talent should redefine the meaning of talent and comprehend the basic aim of having a talent. As I stated earlier as well, every daily task you’re doing is a talent. Bathing, walking, talking etc. are everything that is under the category of being talented. Sure, almost everyone can do these tasks but everyone can sing as well. The difference is being about sounding pleasant or not-so-pleasant. Everything we do is a talent.
Basically, what I believe is, talent, in other expression, is something which must help a person in his/her self-growth and self-fulfilment helping him/her in evolving as a person and bringing up changes for the betterment of that particular person. While experiencing the joy of self-enrichment, the person learns new skills with an aim to just enjoy them and finding fun in those hobbies. If you are having pleasure when you are doing the stuff which you like then the perception of the world will not matter. Only the inner world which entirely belongs to you will hold an importance. If you believe you’ve a talent then it’ll make it easier to develop it even further. However, talent does not guarantee you fame and fortune.
Don’t believe in a misconception that it will provide you all the luxury. Talent is to be enriched and not to be looked as a way to have success and becoming popular. If it comes in your way, then be grateful to achieve it. Do not run after it. Don’t chase the luxury. Enrich and grow the talent you have. Focus only on that, nothing else.

So, the bottom line is:

For me, talent is something which needs to be looked as a way to grow your soul and mind and it can be found in each little task that you can do during your lifetime.