Away from home

Staring out of the window

Sitting in the hotel room

I miss my lovely home

No happiness, I moan.

 

Missing those walks in the park,

Looking at the bright shining stars.

A broken heart, love doesn’t last.

Left with lots of scars.

 

Away from home but feels quite close.

Tears in my eyes, won’t let them show.

A hot sunny day, wish it’d snow.

It’s warm in here but I feel so cold.

I want to go home.

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2 thoughts on “Away from home

  1. Poor Viby and is longing!
    Some poetic suggestions to make it more concise and have more punch. Just to show you how much you can eliminate and still have meaning – the meaning you intended, but stronger. People will get it.

    Staring out the window/
    Hotel room,/
    I miss my home./
    Moan!/

    Walks in the park/
    The shining stars/
    Love doesn’t last./
    Scars.

    Away from home yet close/
    Tears but they don’t show./
    Hot sunny day, I wish it’d snow/
    Warm here but I feel cold/
    I want home.

    Liked by 1 person

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