Maybe I am a little bit selfish at times…..

Maybe I am a little bit selfish at times.
Believe me even I don’t like it, I admit that I am guilty of this crime.
I try my best to move on every day, hoping one day I’ll shine.
I keep on writing because nobody would listen, so I need to find a way to smile.
I am full of flaws, I can’t change it but everyone goes through harsh times.
It is just a bad phase which I will have to face,
This is the only way to stay alive.
Sometimes I do feel like I am a maniac.
But then I realize I am just feeling a bit high.
All those drugs I took once in my lifetime,
Certainly going to hurt me like I have been struck by a blow from a sharp knife.
I shout aloud to my inner demons,
Only to realize they’re stronger than me, I can’t do anything, I’ve been beaten.
This invisible ghost, who resides inside me, has completely eaten me up.
I wanted to engage myself in social situations,
In the end I realized they were even scarier.
I need to make my own path now.
Have to be comfortable in my own skin, my new passion is solitude now.
Will never be hard on myself, I vow to myself.
I will be braver than ever, no matter what happens, I’ll never say never.
It’s easier said than done, but I will have to try my best to start a new life,
I want to stop feeling sorry for myself.
I do not want to be alone when I die,
but it is something which is completely out of my hands.
Perhaps, it’s just because I am a bit irresponsible and I never pay much attention.
As I said, I am full of flaws, so there is no need for any correction.
What do I want exactly?
Maybe I am still guessing.
I am so lost at the moment that I cannot feel present in this moment.


2 thoughts on “Maybe I am a little bit selfish at times…..

  1. I enjoyed reading your introspection and they are questions I sometimes ask myself still. Funny how we go in and out of things, whether it be doubt or then peace of mind. I think there is a difference between thoughts which we sometimes get caught up and then what’s real and what’s real is you – and you’re not selfish, I think you are exploring self-awareness. Be gentle to yourself along the way because I think you rock! Peace, Harlon

    Liked by 1 person

Share what you've got, it matters.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s